yae! finally... the day is coming... hiek hiek... cant wait for it to come... although i wont expect any surprises of any sort... hahaz... itz a mugging day again... today not airport or parkway... went to suntec macs instead... hahaz... rl wanted to mug in gelare... and eat his half priced waffles again... but we thought it was too small so we went to macs... marcus came along with his vs fren... errr forgot his name again... hahahaz... fm student oso... but chao slacker oso lorz... then after a while ph came oso... didnt expect any sms from that guy today... at least i was hoping not to lah... then it came... when i was taking nel with wx home... the guy asked me out for dinner tml... *pengz* of course i wont go out with him lah... hahaz... i said im meeting "him" for dinner... *opz* hahaz... who cares anyway... then he replied said cuz they having a jc dinner sort of watever shit lah... then ask me to go oso lorz... diaozZzzz... hmm... still wondering wat to do tml... wx suggested we go eat first... then those who can stay out late go watch infernal affairs 2 together! yeah! hahaz... *yawnz* was feeling damn sleepy the whole day... cuz i woke up at 3.30am today... then started mugging... hahaz... i slept at like 9 the day before lah... so have to wake up early and study... if not will feel very guilty... hahaz... and here i am wasting time blogging... oh heck care lah... im feeling very tired already... ms low was nice enough to buy each of us a packet of oreo cookies... hahaz... i dunoe for wat... destressing us i tink... hmm... thursday and friday no school... but i bet i will end up mugging somewhere in singapore lah... hahaz... oso good lah.. staying at home even more sianz... aye...

shocking me
8:51 PM

*_* seeing stars liaoz... hahahaz... feeling so tired... hmm... had a bad start of the day by receiving a forwarded sms from that "siao3 michael" at first i tot oh.. forwarded sms only... that will be all for the day... but... during math lect... somebody called me lah... then i didnt pick up... then received an sms from xj... *pengz* he asked... so are you going to the airport today? wahhhhhh lor and wx told me not to reply... so i didnt... hahahaz... dun care liaoz lah... aye... had a good chat with him* yesterday nite... i really feel very stressed and worried for him*... scared that he* might do anything stupid... which of course i hope not... he* asked whether i wana patch up... although the answer was quite obvious... but he told me to tink it over lah... itz like the cycle is back... hahaz... but i dun want history to repeat itself... so i guess i will stick to my decision... if i can... feel like being by his side so that at least there is somebody to take care of him... but that wont be fair to him... plus... i dun wana hurt anybody again... yeah... aye.. watever... saw him only during math lect... just cant help looking at him... got once he smiled back... aye... niwae went to swensens to mug with lor janelle marcus and 2 other frenz of his... marc had voucher for 55cents hot fudge ice cream lah!!! hahahaz... like not song... ended up sharing one hot fudge and fish and chip with lor... then after that marc still added some more ice cream cuz they couldnt finish theirs... they topped up for the 3rd or 4th time liaoz lorz... hahaz... feeling damn full now...bloated man... yeah! 2 more days to go... hiek hiek... i tink it will be the first time in 2 years im celebrating my bday with my frenz... hahaz... not bad lah... although alot of pple will be ponning school on that day... hahahz... nvm... itz mugging time again! ciaozZzz~

shocking me
8:19 PM

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM GOING MAD!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT STUPID GUY MESSAGED AGAIN AGAIN AND AGAIN!!!!! WAT THE FUCK?! this is consecutively the 5th time since wednesday... EVERYDAY SINCE WEDNESDAY!!!! WATZ WRONG WITH HIM?!?! he just messaged and asked for the 5th day if i wana go out and study... study study and study... thatz not the point anyway... the point is HIM. HIM HIM AND HIM. any suggestions here... i noe u all have given me alot liaoz... maybe itz really time to do something about this... this cant go on forever... i will really die before promos lah... i said.. oh i going to study with lor and maybe marcus tml... he asked if he can join... i really cannot think of wat else to say lah... SOMEBODY SAVE MEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

shocking me
9:45 PM

hey guys... had the really sudden urge to write my blog... juz took a bath... yeah... had a good cry... went out with him* for dinner at fish and co, ate his all time fav seafood platter which was really damn nice!!!!! hahaz... really cannot describe in words how delicious it was man... nxt time u guys should try too! hahaz... then we went to esplanade's haagan daz for ice cream, used my 10 bucks voucher to buy 2 ice cream cones... very nice too!!! hahaz.. suddenly feel like a pig man... nvm nvm... then we took mrt home lorz... everything seemed so routine... the past seemed to rush to me with strong waves of emotions... when i was walking home... i really felt like crying... i never had this feeling before... i was trying soo hard to hold my tears that by the time i reached home... no tears... but mucus was flowing already... hahaz... sound quite disgusting huh... then he called... luckily i still sounded quite normal... but got cut off halfway... owells... then i continued when i was taking my bath lorz... cry as in really cry... it was the first time i cried so hard ever since the break up... was sobbing quite alot too... just dunoe what got into me... my body just felt like crying... maybe it was feeling sad for me for the loss of a person who loves me so much and is willing to do anything for me... hahaz... nvm nvm... dont look back anymore... dun regret the decisions that u have made... alright... backtracking again... met xj... my primary school classmate at the airport... he asked me where i going to mug lah... cuz i told him i going to mug with my frenz so cant meet him... then i told him im at the airport... then he said okay i tink i go and mug oso... never try before... then i was like... diao... but lucky got lor to accompany me lah... if not i will really die lorz... yeah he brought 2 frenz from vj oso... but they are seriously not my type of pple... just.. too innocent... too friendly.. watever... just not used to it lorz... then the atmosphere was quite weird oso... nvm nvm.... had another 2 rides on the skytrain... hahahaz... like i just took it yesterday lah... nvm... quite fun wat right... hahaz... had a good chat with lor while walking around in search of coffee club express at T1... ended up in T2 again... at the viewing mall... woow chao shuang man... i tink itz quite a good place lah... just dun have proper tables and chairs to work on... so abit uncomfortable... then xj kept on messaging me... say wat do u have any problems or watsoever that u want us to pray for? we are praying for all our frenz... wah seh... then asked me wat i want for bday present... or if i wana buy anything from his mum... how on earth i noe wat ur mum sells man... oh crap... just received another of his sms... "me send my sis and her fren hm le. bye" watz that gotta do with me?! diao.... argh... forget about it... take it easy man... alright... pple dun get too stressed okay... must take care and rest well at the same time yah... tata...

shocking me
9:09 PM

ello pple... good evening... konbanwa... feeling so shagged... hahaz... went to airport to study again with wx ph marcus and some fren of his... then shawn came later lah... not too bad... crowded as usual... had my all time fav taro turnover... oishi!!! argh... im beginning to lose my patience liaoz... that guy juz went offline... whew... he's been bugging me since i came online lah... eh tml wana go makan and study or not... with some east jc group watever shit lah... ahhhhhh i really got nothing to say... at first he ask if i wana meet for lunch... but i say i going out to study with my frenz... then he say go study with the group thingy... he like use that reason everyday lah... since wednesday... what the hell... then say some more got free dinner... hahaz... like some government trying to use incentives to attract pple or watever right... yeah in the end i said i going with him for dinner... didnt specify who the him though... juz faked it lah... then u noe wat he replied?! oh... if can tml both of u all come for our study group lorz... wahhhh i really wana say f*** off lah... nvm nvm... control control... owells was a long time since i went to terminal 1... everything looked so different lorz.. hahaz... walked to buy bread at delifrance with wx and ph... then we went to the viewing gallery to look at planes while i finish my dinner... was really cracking my brains to think for ideas for rl on wat to give jm lah... hahaz... see i so nice... *opz* ohohoh i saw that timothy guy today... he was a fren of marcus oso... he didnt recognise me... i was tinking for damn long who he was lah... cuz he juz looked so damn familiar... then realise that me julian him* and nelson went to his house for new year... then went to look for some girl called pearlin near his house... hahaz... not bad.. my memory still strong as ever... hahaz... finally... when i was taking 53 home... was feeling quite lazy to walk all the way from the bus stop to the interchange then home lah... so wanted to stop at the stadium there and walk... then the bus didnt go the way that i tot it would lorz... then i started to panick... then that ph oso say... eh this bus got go stadium one meh? then i was like... ah!!! die die die... so i got off... crossed the road and took 82 back... guess wat... ph called and said oh the bus did go past the stadium... after turning circles here and there... i was like ahhhhhhH!!!!! oh watever... nvm nvm... at least now i noe... ahahaz... ohohoh today's chem prac was so shity lah... the whole class heated the wrong reagent... some solid acid... we were supposed to measure the mass of the compound after heating lah.. but the thing like turn liquid liaoz... i was like wondering... hmm how am i supposed to measure this if all the liquid evaporates... hahaz... then everybody started choking lah... ahhh... so crappy... in the end had to repeat the experiment a second time... which didnt work for me as well cuz my test tube was contaminated with the previous reagent... fine... i did it the 3rd time... with a test tube which has a crack already... then i just gave up lah... oh juz realise that if u break anything in the lab dun need to pay one leh!!! hahaz... in rj i had to lah... hmm he* asked me out for dinner this weekend... as a pre celebration for my bday... oso good... can do some catching up or something... kk... better go mug liaoz... ciaozZzzzz

shocking me
10:10 PM

mamamia~~ hahaz... aye... these few days quite sianz... mug mug and mug... today ponned chinese again... to go library and mug... hahaz... then saw him before going for chem lecture... dunoe why i even bothered to hit him with my file and say hi... hahaz... shud have juz walked past and pretended i didnt see him... aye... but thatz not very nice huh... nice weather today... still in the midst of deciding whether to go jogging or not... hahaz... cuz it just finished raining... then today xj messaged me again... say got study group again... yesterday oso.. he's been trying to ask me out lah... but i rejected all... except the first one lorz... cuz that time was like long long never see liaoz mah... so i didnt mind... but dun have to ask me out so often to makan and chat right... owells but he was saying that his vj frenz were very excited cuz they wana see me... i mean... watz so interesting bout me man... hahaz... in the end i still didnt go for tat study group lah... hahaz... oso no point... go there study for 1 hour plus then i have to go off liaoz... diaozzz... hmm today when lor got choked by drinking water in the classroom, i was patting her back lah... then recalled bout stuff again... aye... i was deep in thoughts momentarily... hahaz... dunoe whether my classmates notice or not... owells... oooh my nepal trip group changed again! hahaz... this time is the best... all the pple i noe one... hiek hiek... yeah! wx say going to start pt every alternate days after promos leh... song bo!!! hahaz... i wana train up oso... so i like pts... ahahhaz... maybe too long never do pt liaoz tatz why... ever since that time in rj... ahhh miss my sp... hehe... right then... i realise tat now im like the one that writes blog most frequently in class lah... hahahaz... owells... tata... +)

shocking me
5:12 PM

yosh! juz came back from airport... hahaz... went there to study with wx shawn and marcus... yeah... 3 guys... i realise... hahahz... shawn was my math buddy for the math buddy programme mah... and marcus whom i only saw for the first session... owells it turned out quite well lah... as in learnt quite alot from all the qns they asked... why here and why there... hahahz... when we normally learn only to accept it as a fact... owells... there was damn alot of pple at the airport lah... mj vj tj rj... even dunman and rgs pple oso there... hahahaz... quite noisy but who cares... hahaz... today that stupid ph tricked me... cuz me ponned chinese class mah... together with wx keith rl and lor lorz... then he say the teacher got angry lah... hahaz.. really scared me... somemore after that me and wx saw her at the bus stop when we were waiting for 36 to come... she gave that forced smile.... hahahaz... tiubaboom! ohohoh hiek hiek... waited for soooo long... finally the day is coming... hahaz... one more week neh... *hint hint* just nice infernal affairs opening on that day... so i tink we going to watch... yeah!!! hahaz... ohohoh he said he bought something from phillipines for me... hmm... wondering wat is it... ohohoh ph got me the IDEAS stuff today... i got it when i had 7210 lah.. then lost it.. so have to dl again to my new phone... reminded me of that time... me and him* were on the bus... then exchanging sim cards here and there... forgot to get wat liaoz... some ringtone or sumting i tink... hahaz... then that ph was using my sim card to dl the dunoe wat skateboard game to his phone... cuz his sim card too old.. cannot apply for gprs or watever lah... yeapz... then my mum's gonna question me bout these stuff when she sees the bill... but hopefully she wont scold... cuz my bill will be chao low this month... hahahz... or maybe the following and the following and the following months to come... owells... surprisingly she didnt scold me for my phone bill last month leh... although my talk time exceeded by damn alot lah... she was like... ur bill this month over 20 bucks ar... but nvm lah... ur younger bro's oso... wah... first time she never nag bout bills lah... hahahaz... dunoe why... owells...

shocking me
8:55 PM

yo~ realise there is this special craze in our class pple pasting lyrics in their blogs... so i shall paste one here too... tata
寂寞的季節
作詞：娃娃　作曲：陶吉吉

風吹落最後一片葉　我的心也飄著雪
愛只能往回憶裡堆疊　oh~　給下個季節
忽然間樹梢冒花蕊　我怎麼會都沒有感覺
oh~　整條街　都是戀愛的人　我獨自走在暖風的夜
多想要向過去告別　當季節不停更迭　oh~
卻還是少一點堅決　在這寂寞的季節
艷陽高照在那海邊　愛情盛開的世界
遠遠看著熱鬧一切　oh~　我記得那狂烈
窗外是快枯黃的葉　感傷在心中有一些　oh~
我瞭解　那些愛過的人　心是如何慢慢在凋謝
多想要向過去告別　當季節不停更迭　oh~
卻還是少一點堅決　在這寂寞的季節
又走過風吹的冷冽　最後一盞燈熄滅
從回憶我慢慢穿越　在這寂寞的季節
還是寂寞的季節　一樣寂寞的季節

the lyrics are so sad... aye... maybe i shudnt listen to this song so much... then wont feel so down... actually today i wasnt really feeling very down or watever... but my classmates thought someting happened to me again... hahaz... cuz i wasnt in the mood to tok... then look very moody... owells... im still trying and trying... aka... i made him* sad again... kk shant start again... =) oh hope everybody take care of themselves alright! itz a crucial period now... so cannot afford to fall sick hor... yah yah... oh suddenly remembered what ms low said the last gp lesson... cuz was tinking bout the rj compre paper i have to do later... she asked the who's attached qn again mah... then they called out my name again... owells i guess itz quite awkward if i say no im single liaoz... so i didnt really correct that statement... and itz quite cham lah... cuz itz just one month... and most of the pple who noe me still think we are together... plus nowadays he dun come to school so often... then pple wont see that like we arnt really together... yeah... owells... ooh bout the nepal trip... hahaz they put me into a new group again... i hope all of us work fine together... with meng xiong, grace, errr i cant remember liaoz... hahaz... well at least i noe meng xiong... and lucky they never sabo me go be toilet ic... if not i will juz kill wx lah... hmph... wx said im in charge of food... yeah!!! can eat... hahahaz... aka feel like a piggy... *snort snort* ;@


shocking me
5:32 PM

woow... feel so shiok... juz went jogging on a new route... although along the way got some traffic... so as good as running in the stadium or around my estate... owells was quite scared that i missed any turns or watsoever... cuz wanted to run to find wx at the basketball court somewhere around his house... lucky everything turn out smoothly... hahaz... aye... yesterday nite i read his* blog... it really hit me hard... juz felt totally bad... bad... and bad... okay lah i noe he* doesnt want me to feel so... but i cant help it... the song at his* blog's real nice man... nice until i opened a new window to type my blog and leave another one open with his blog... hahaz... kind of stupid... but owells... when i was walking home from the bus stop there ( stopped running there) ... then all the images flashed back... we used to kiss goodbye before i turn in near the bp there... i guess itz only when i have no qian1 gua4... then i will start to miss him*... crap... thatz even worse... shudnt have said that... nvm... i miss him oso... but at least can see him tml... hehe 3 lectures! but i bet he will leave school early... oh.. and he still got training in the morning... which is one lecture down... aye... niwaez went to study with wx before the jog lah... hahaz... then tok about jogging to watch him play bball... then suddenly he mentioned about eric... i prefer to use his eng name lah... hahaz... alrighty so far only wx in my class noes about him... he's my first... although i didnt really count him in lah... he was from marist oso mah... so wx noe... well well well... i realise that my blog has no organisation at all lah... no sense of time... like always backtrack.. hahahaz.. not like yvonne's.. organised... first we went here... then we go there.. watever... then lor's one is damn zai... eng damn power... sometimes i need to read more than once to understand wat she's saying lah... hahaz... then sherlyn's one is oso like... say wat u tink about lorz... haiz... see im backtracking again... still feeling bad... nvm nvm... i shant say anymore.. if not nxt time he wont let me see his blog liaoz... alright man... my mum juz came in... then was showing her my class photos and cca photos... then she said terina and xiang pin look like twins in the informal photo... hahahhaz... so funny... then in the pe photo she was asking me who's the teacher in charge... then i pointed chanks out... she was like... har? he's a teacher? i tot he's a student... hahaz... cuz he was wearing all white that day... then photo come out like wearing the same thing as the guys... hahaz... so funny... here comes the last part... she asked where's my bf... then i was like... mei2 you3 lah... then she asked... oh not here ar... watz his name again? kevin? aye... i juz kept on saying mei2 you3 mei2 you3... then she said ai yah... pai seh for wat... nxt time bring him and see me leh... sigh..............................

shocking me
8:12 PM

opz... sorry guys... juz ignore the last entry alright? im alright already... hahaz... maybe itz juz that day lah... owells... today played mahjong at lor's house again... hahaz... itz the slowest round we ever played lah... then at first me keep on feeding that stupid ph... then he game dunoe how many times... then his turn to feed me and i game... hahahaz... i kept both of his hua for quite a few times... and he oso kept mine... diao... owells but in the end still lost around $3.60 lah... hahaz... morning had physics prac... quite alright... managed to finish in time... whew... was actually taking my own sweet time in the beginning.. until the last 10 min got abit panicky... hahaz... hope they dun pinalise for accuracy.. cuz my acceleration due to gravity was like 10.9 sumting lah... then round off to 2 sf become 11... hahaz.. when the actual value in singapore is 9.6plus... aye... he* messaged me at around 2 plus... but my phone was off so i didnt noe... was quite surprised that he still take the initiative to msg me... hahaz... ooh... my latest craze song!!! ji4 mo4 de4 ji4 jie2 by david tao... damn nice!!!! although itz another sad song... when im feeling lonely i will tink about that song... aye... oso quite describes how im feeling now... hahaz... played it through the whole night yesterday... juz kept on repeating and repeating... aye tml he having a party at his house... he asked me if i wana go... but there's only like all the swimmers there... out of which i only noe one... yaqi.. and his ex... im free but thought it will be quite awkward if i go... so i guess my sunday is a homestay again... my primary school classmate wanted to ask me out on sunday again... as in go out with frenz lah... but im damn sian... juz dun feel like going out with him... feel very awkward... and the most irritating thing is that when we are like ending a conversation on msn right... he will say god bless... aka im not condemning any christians here lah... but i have alot of christian frenz... they oso dun do that wat... dun get why he muz say that... okay maybe itz a personal habit or watever... juz find it irritating... right... thatz all... tata =)

shocking me
6:11 PM

argh! screwed up screwed up man!!!! why did i ever got myself into this kind of mess?? ri liang couldnt exchange his router lah... then i will have to bug my dad again... wat the hell?!?! im feeling damn bad lah... can i juz like pay him back 119 bucks with my own money and he forget bout the router? juz damn irritated by everything... then keith oso asking for the price of the muvo nx... i bet my dad is oso irritated liaoz lah... argh!!!!! shudnt have asked them if they wana get anything in the first place... owells there's always a price to pay for being a good guy... right... yesh... fine... maybe itz juz now lah... then they say they wana listen to songs... fine... but every song oso got at least one person say skip... then juz keep skipping and skipping and skipping until im damn irritated lah... wana listen then listen lah... so fussy for wat right... and i can only store 25-26 songs in there lah... how good do u expect the songs to be man... and not as if i noe wat songs u like right... oh wateva!!!!! fuck everything man... looks like my mood swings are getting worse nowadays... i dun get angry... juz irritated... hahaz... i may seem so normal right... maybe i too nice already... dun get angry... then it accumulates accumulates accumulates until one day.... *tiubaboom*!!! eruption man... oh sigh... had a long chat with him in the canteen today... i didnt really feel tat sad anymore... well at least i can still see him around... tok to him... and stuff lytt... aye... i guess im unknowing affected oso lah... watever... ate bread for dinner again... juz like bread alot... haha... wanted to go for dinner with my frenz... but none of them going.. so i go buy bread eat lorz... while walking to the bus stop... had the sudden urge again... to message him* and ask him* go eat dinner together... but muz ren3! tell myself cannot cannot cannot... hahaha... i tink this is the second time this year i got so damn irritated by everything... first time was when my fren told me to bring all 38 books of ranma lah... i juz feel like killing her... but i dunoe how to reject pple... thatz the problem...niwae in the end i still didnt bring for her.. did it another day... not on a school day man... owells... i tink i get irritated by weird stuff iznt it... hahaha... tata

shocking me
7:37 PM

tiiuubaboom! hahz... juz felt like saying that... ahhh i still like going to school... holz was so sianz lah... yeah tml going to watch pirates of the carrabean... if thatz how u spell it... hahaz.. long time never go watch movie liaoz.. ever since home run... yeah... didnt even watch the tale of the 2 sisters!!! i wanted to watch one lorz... but too bad... cx scared of these kind of stuff then nobody to watch with liaoz.. hahaz.. nvm nvm... school today was actually not bad... although i do miss him alot... haiz... nvm nvm... then went for the briefing for the nepal trip... sounds fun man... 9 days of trekking and 2 days of water rafting... shiok or not! hahaz... but only 1 day to shop... ahhhh where got enough... hahz... i juz hope that there wont be any sudden eruption of war or sars or watever lah... our batch always damn suay.. last time sec 3 suppose to have geog trip to sarawak...then cancelled cuz got 911... then if now this one oso cancelled then best liaoz lorz... hahaz.... choi choi... yeap... so scary... today during chem tut chanks actually knew that we went to lor's house to play mahjong after ecp outing... most of us thought he went to read our blogs lah... thatz like not scary... hahaz... but not as if we never read his... but our blogs write mostly bout relationship stuff... i wonder wat he will think bout our class if he read our blogs man... hahaz... juz hope mine wont be touched... cuz cx told him that we are together... then if he read lytt... ahhh sure alot of question marks question marks... hahaz... cuz even kev oso thought something bad happened... then he msged me... owells my primary school classmate wanted to jio me out again.. dun feel like going out with him... *opz* dun mean anything... juz feel very weird... hahaz... last time primary school the class always put the 2 of us together... cuz we were the shortest 2 in class.... hahaz... aye... itz 6 plus already and he still not back yet... i tried calling his phone but not on.... aye aye aye... this is the first song he sent me... itz really very nice... but then again... he sent his ex before oso...

Edwin McCain - I'll Be

The strands in your eyes that color them wonderful
Stop me and steal my breath
Emeralds from mountains thrust towards the sky
Never revealing their depth

Tell me that we belong together
Dress it up with the trappings of love
I'll be captivated, I'll hang from your lips
Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above

I'll Be your cryin' shoulder
I'll Be love suicide
I'll Be better when I'm older
I'll Be the greatest fan of your life

Rain falls angry on the tin roof
As we lie awake in my bed
You're my survival, you're my living proof
My love is alive and not dead

Tell me that we belong together
Dress it up with the trappings of love
I'll be captivated, I'll hang from your lips
Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above

I'll Be your cryin' shoulder
I'll Be love suicide
I'll Be better when I'm older
I'll Be the greatest fan of your life

I've dropped out, burned up, fought my way back from the dead
Tuned in, turned on, remembered the things you said

I'll Be your cryin' shoulder
I'll Be love suicide
I'll Be better when I'm older
I'll Be the greatest fan of your life

I'll Be your cryin' shoulder
I'll Be love suicide
I'll be better when i'm older
I'll be the greatest fan of you life

The greatest fan of your life


shocking me
6:53 PM

juz read sherlyn's blog... then i realise that i shud go read yvonne's first... then i can see the link... owells... stirred alot of feelings in me too... juz hope that she's alright... well at least she still had her 3 good frenz... my best friend? errr... kev's her primary school classmate mah... then after wat happened... we didnt really tok to each other anymore... kind of sad huh... yeah thatz my life... sad or not... hmm dunoe why i can actually manage to put my feelings through only to wx... hahaz... that time after stay over we went home together mah... i juz suddenly had the strong urge to tell somebody bout it... then i showed him wat cx messaged me lorz... yeah... at least i still do have somebody to confide... hahaha.... today like not sianz... staying at home the whole day... wanted to go out... but like dunoe who to ask to go out with leh... haha... sometimes i had the urge to go find him again... but i always try to stop myself... cuz itz not fair to him... i like treat him as some sub... nobody go out with then ask him... owells... hahaz why our class so many relationship problems siaz... crapz... i dunoe how to face cx when he comes back... maybe itz a good thing that he's not going to take promos... that he's going to stop schooling nxt year... then wont be so gang1 ga4... i can forget bout everything that happened faster oso... although itz quite impossible... hahaz... i suddenly thought of the analogy wx and keith were using for the relationship each of us had... i tink mine can be modified to sumting like... err the basketball already went into the hoop and scored liaoz... but itz a foul... so not counted... hahaz... quite appropriate right...

shocking me
2:34 PM

yosh... wat a fine day... hahaz... actually i've been quite free ever since the last relationship... cx oso always very busy... so dun really have to spend time with him oso... hahaz... my mum was like... how come like nowadays u come home so early ar? hahaz... owells... guess itz quite good in a way oso... more time to mug... hahaz... no life already... my primary school classmate actually wanted to ask me out tml... but itz sort of a christian gathering lah... so... err no thanks... hahaz... today like not sian... went to school for the forum thingy... but we didnt go lah... went there to take a look.. then pon... hahaz... went to parkway eat breakfast then go lor's house for mahjong again... so addictive man... hahaz... lucky never lose too much... 90cents... anyway we juz ge ge play money lah... in the end we didnt pay up... poor sherlyn actually won 10 over bucks lah... hahahaz... then never got a single cent... too bad man... oh... i realise something... wx oso realised... dunoe why i will always end up doing something with ph alone or sumting... hahahaz... so funny right... the pw interview oso the 2 of us... go and buy pool cue for wx's bday oso the 2 of us... the class outing we went cycling... then cuz others have to chiong back to return bike... leaving me and him slowly ride our way back... then tat time i had to stay in school until 6 plus b4 my co prac... he oso sat down to tok to me... and eat his nasi lemak lah... hahaz... owells... juz an observation... hmm... actually sometimes i oso tink bout kev... as in the stuff we did together... but somehow really no more feelings liaoz... like juz frenz lorz... aye... i oso dunoe wat i was thinking for the past 1 year man... now i really noe how it feels like... being taken for granted... come to tink of it i really took him for granted a lot of times... ahhh feel so bad...

shocking me
4:37 PM

ahhh... damn tired... juz came back from the class gathering... stayed over at lorraine's house... i was feeling quite dead then already lah... but still quite an experience... ^_^ there were times in her house when i started to tear already.. but i managed to control... hahaz... i not bad right.. can make myself cry.. and can oso stop myself from crying... actually i knew it right from the start that he still loves his ex... ah duh... itz not something that can be put down behind so easily... one of my frenz asked me... if u noe that his heart got somebody else other than u... why did u still go with him? hahaz... i really dunnoe how to answer that qn... ahhh had the sudden urge to cry again... haha... *tahan*............... okay back... yeah... nxt tuesday will be the first month with him already... but i just have this feeling that we will only last for at most a month... he kept on saying that he feel that itz unfair to me... as in he wana give our relationship a try lorz... maybe we will work out... but it seems like... yeah we did progress quite abit... but he still loves his ex as much as ever... i tink even more than me... aye... maybe my cousin's right... dun ever love a guy more than he loves u... hahaha... i actually went to borrow a crafts book yesterday... after doing cip at bedok library lorz... he said he like surprises... so i wanted to surprise him with something on tuesday... but i cant think of anything... so decided to look for a crafts book lorz... but the stuff inside the magazine all damn hard to make one... and the materials are... i dunoe where on earth can get one lorz... i was quite enthu bout it yesterday... but after his sms... i tink half of my heart juz died... although actually wat he said i already knew liaoz lah... but i dunoe... itz juz the way he put it... haiz... i thought about letting it go... yeah be the bad guy again... maybe he was hinting to me about it all along... maybe... but he juz dun wana initiate it? u noe in those tv serials where the girls can like give up a guy lytt to another girl... then everybody will say... wah she is so wei3 da4... haha... i thought bout doing that too... but i juz... cant... bring myself to do it... xing4 fu2 shi4 yao4 zi4 ji3 qu4 zheng1 qu3 de4.... but not as if im very xing4 fu2 now... ahhh... okok shall heed wx's advice... dun tink too much... things will sort it out themselves... somehow... someway....

shocking me
10:46 AM

owells... i guess itz time to revive my blog... hahaz... i hope nobody remembers my blog now liaoz... since i told them i stop writing... juz feel like blabering everything here... i guess i have nowhere else to turn to... feel like a damn damn bad girl... i bet after the last break up... my reputation juz went down like wat lah.. but who cares about that... thatz my 4th... i juz told wx bout all my love life... actually i told all my frenz in vj only the last 3... didnt really wana include the first... although thatz my first love... but... *bad memories* nvm... only wx noes about it... hahaz... owells hope the rest dun get jealous... then there goes the complicated ones between the 2nd and the 3rd... until now i still dunoe who to number 2nd who to number 3rd... but who cares about that anyway... i tink now i feel that i let kevin down the most... second is benson... aka actually there's only the 2 of them right... hahaz... owells... felt damn damn bad when i last saw benson... was glad that he's getting along fine with his gf now... never see before... but confirm much better than me lah... maybe im juz saying that to make me not feel so bad... owells i dunoe... feeling alot alot of pressure on me now... not only bout studies lah... itz like... everywhere i go... the moment i see some vs guys... *pressure* really damn stress lah... only the vs guys in my class is fine... the rest... *pressure* how how how... dunoe how to survive lytt man... exceptionally stressed when i see that favian guy man... scares me alot... didnt even dare to look at him face to face... will juz die lah... i juz hope that me and cx can last... as long as we can let it last... i hope i hope... then im satisfied liaoz... =)

shocking me
8:46 PM